During a relationship, one partner may transfer money to the other for rent, medical treatment, daily necessities, beauty treatments, or other personal expenses. However, when the relationship ends, the question often arises as to whether such funds were transferred as a gift, financial support, or, after all, as a loan that must be repaid. It is important to distinguish between situations involving financial transactions between spouses and those involving financial relationships between individuals who live together and share a common household—in such cases, the legal assessment may differ. The situations relevant here are those in which the individuals had a close relationship but were not married, did not live together, and did not share a household.
Karolina Briliūtė, an attorney at the AVOCAD law firm, says that the mere fact that one person transferred or handed over money to another does not, in and of itself, create an obligation to return it. In the event of a dispute, the most important thing is to determine on what basis the funds were transferred and what both parties had agreed upon at the time. “A close relationship does not in itself mean that all the money transferred to a partner was a gift, nor that it was a loan. In a legal dispute, the fundamental question that must be answered is whether the funds were transferred with a clear agreement—or one implied by the circumstances—to repay them,” emphasizes K. Briliūtė.
A bank account for transfers alone may not be enough
The easiest situation is when the money was transferred via bank transfer and the payment description states “loan,” “I’m lending,” or another clear phrase. However, even such a record is not the only possible evidence. The couple’s correspondence via text messages, Messenger, WhatsApp, or email can be highly significant. For example, one partner asks to borrow money, the other agrees, and later the recipient writes that they will repay it once they receive their paycheck, asks for more time, or offers to repay the debt in installments. “The entire context is very important in disputes. Sometimes a single sentence in a conversation—such as a promise to repay the money—combined with bank transfers and the parties’ subsequent behavior can become significant evidence. Therefore, when a relationship ends, you shouldn’t rush to delete messages or other communications,” says an AVOCAD attorney. It may also be significant that the former partner has already repaid part of the money. Such behavior, together with other evidence, may indicate that the obligation to repay was acknowledged.
It is much more difficult to prove cases where money was transferred in cash and no document was signed.
In certain cases, the Civil Code requires that a loan agreement be in writing, and for larger amounts transferred in cash, it also requires notarization. Therefore, transferring a large sum of money “hand-to-hand” without any supporting documentation can later lead to serious problems in proving the transaction. “In the course of their relationships, people naturally do not always formalize their financial agreements with one another. However, the larger the amount transferred, the more important it is to leave at least a minimal written record—an agreement, a message, or confirmation that the money was received and will be repaid,” notes K. Briliūtė.
"Pay it back when you can" doesn't mean you won't have to pay it back
Another common situation is when money is lent, but no specific repayment date was agreed upon. According to the lawyer, this alone does not negate the right to demand repayment of the loan. The Civil Code provides rules for cases where the loan repayment deadline has not been set or where the money must be repaid upon demand. Therefore, in such a situation, one of the first practical steps should be to issue a clear written demand for repayment. It should specifically list the amounts transferred, the circumstances of the transfer, and demand repayment. “Phrases like ‘pay me back later’ or ‘when you can’ do not necessarily mean that the money was a gift. However, in the event of a dispute, you’ll again have to prove that the parties had agreed on a loan in the first place, which is why written communication becomes particularly important here,” explains K. Briliūtė.
Did you pay not to your partner, but on behalf of your partner?
The situation may be different when the money was never transferred to the partner’s account in the first place. For example, one person may have paid another’s rent, dental bills, veterinary bills, beauty treatments, or other service bills directly. In such cases, the legal basis for claiming the money is not necessarily a loan. The Civil Code provides for situations where one person fulfills another person’s obligation to their creditor. “If the documents clearly show that you used your own money to pay a specific obligation that another person was supposed to fulfill, there may be grounds to demand the return of these funds. However, in such cases, it must also be determined whether the payment was a gift, voluntary assistance, or some other form of payment made without compensation,” says the lawyer.
If it is determined that a monetary obligation exists and the debtor fails to fulfill it on time, the Civil Code allows for the recovery of interest in certain cases. When bringing a case to court, one may also request procedural interest on the awarded amount until the court’s decision is fully enforced. This means that a debtor who ignores a demand to repay a debt for a long time does not necessarily benefit—the final amount due may be greater than the amount that was originally owed.
What if your ex-partner has moved abroad?
Living abroad does not in itself mean that it is no longer possible to recover the money. If your former partner lives in another European Union country, the first step is to determine which country’s court has jurisdiction to hear the specific dispute. Depending on the circumstances, the simplified European Union cross-border claim procedures may also be applicable. “In such cases, practical information is crucial—where the person actually lives, where they earn their income, and where they hold assets. A court ruling is only one part of the process; for the creditor, its actual enforcement is also crucial,” notes K. Briliūtė.
What might the other side say?
Of course, there are two sides to every dispute. The person being asked to return the money may argue that no loan was ever made—that the funds were gifts, voluntary financial assistance, or personal expenses that the other person chose to cover of their own free will. Since this article deals with individuals who did not live together and did not maintain a joint household, the argument regarding “joint expenses of the couple” would not, in and of itself, be as clear-cut as it would be in the case of individuals living together. Nevertheless, each situation must be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
It may be significant from the debtor’s perspective that the transfers never specified “loan” as the purpose, the correspondence did not mention repayment, and the person who transferred the funds did not ask for them to be repaid for a long time.
Therefore, according to K. Briliūtė, in cases of this nature, it is generally not enough for the court to simply see a long list of transfers on a bank statement. “The key question is usually not whether the money was transferred, but whether it can be proven that it was transferred with an obligation to repay it. This is precisely where a gift, voluntary financial support, and a civil obligation differ,” summarizes the AVOCAD attorney.
Therefore, clarity is of the utmost importance in such situations. Bank transfers, their purpose, correspondence, accounts, receipts confirming receipt of funds, and repayment agreements can be of crucial importance in determining whether the money transferred to a former partner was legally a gift or a debt to be repaid.